I've realized that what I'm longing for is connection. Being in a relationship is one way to obtain that, but definitely not the only way (although, I must admit, I do miss that connection so much that it's a physical feeling). I crave conversation with people who understand. Not that I never get it. I'm blessed to have several people I can have substantive conversations with, people I can explain everything to without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. But... I guess I want more of it. A large majority of the people I share that connection with live in different cities, or even states.
This is not a "woe is me" post, but it seems that finding that connection is hard as hell, and I cling to every moment of that real-ness I can get with other people. Most nights, however, I end up at the keyboard, trying to voice my desires, my concerns, and my truths to myself.
But, if this is the year I'm planning it to be, good surprises must be around the corner. I suppose this is a matter of patience, much like almost everything else has been lately. Lord knows my patience could use some enhancement. Perhaps this is the opportunity...
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Don't you know that
That patience is a virtue
And life is a waiting game
Don't you know that
Peace must be nurtured
--Corrine Bailey Rae
J
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I swear that Cancer men were bred of the same stock.
These lyrics, sure to present again, were as relevant when Kelis first gave them life in '99, as they are now:
"Yeah...you want some friends. It seems that everybody has tons. It depends on what you call friends. You don't really care you just want one.
You're a person full of feelings but nobody's there. But you have to ask yourself if they were would they really care?
They do bullshit sometimes. They do the things that you've done. They're people just like you. Tell me do you really want one?
Ninety eight percent of faith won't follow through. But you know real magic comes from the other two..." -from Mars
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